On July 15th, 2013, my life as I knew it changed. It was my 9/11 moment.

By all accounts, it was a normal evening: I was at the stove cooking and my kids were at the kitchen table. Suddenly, looking up from her laptop, the words “OH MY GOD, JESSIE BLODGETT IS DEAD!” came from my daughter’s mouth. 

Everything stopped (I think my heart even skipped a beat). I heard a gasp (maybe my own) and then the tears. I tried to be strong for my daughter, as she knew Jessie the most. They shared the same passions in high school: music and band. 

Days later, the news of her tragic death surfaced. The violent way she was taken from us and how she was violated made me sick to my stomach. It opened wounds of my own: my mother was a victim of repeated sexual abuse as a child. She passed away a few years before Jessie.

During the last conversation I had with my mom, she held my hand and said, “Honey, promise me one thing: protect the children.” “Of course,” I said, “I will be the mom you taught me to be.” “NO! Not just your children; all the children. Protect them. Save them.”

I knew at that moment there was more to my journey in life.

Passion

I reached out to Jessie’s dad and became one of the first members of the LOVE>hate Project. It was a way for me to do something, to help keep Jessie’s spirit alive. Everything happens for a reason: Jessie’s life and death had a purpose and I wanted to make sure the world would hear her story and her death would not be in vain.

From day one, I was thrilled to be a part of L>h. I could be a voice for people like Jessie and my mom. I could be a piece of the puzzle to help create change and bring out awareness. I was given an opportunity to help make a difference.

Surprise

Initially, I thought I joined L>h to give of myself to a cause I felt so strongly about. But life takes its turns and I have noticed something amazing (and surprising) in my journey: the LOVE>hate project has gifted me in ways that can not be measured. 

I have grown and become a better version of myself. I have become more aware of how to truly love and forgive unconditionally (I sat in the courtroom the day Buck Blodgett spoke those words to Dan). I have learned to be more mindful of my words (a bad hair day is not a bad day). 

I have learned, when talking to someone who has been violated, to listen with compassion. They are not as much a victim as they are a survivor. I have learned not to bury the topic due to my own discomfort but to have those conversations and to validate that person’s self-worth. 

I have come to the realization that it isn’t so much about me giving but more about each and every one of us together, learning, loving, and growing. Standing together to bring awareness to the community, working toward ending violence, and leaving every person you come in contact with better off than before you met them.

Get Involved

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or have money to be a part of the LOVE>hate Project. All you really need is a heart full of compassion and some time to volunteer. We encourage everyone to be a part of this movement. There are many ways to contribute at your own level of comfort.

Of course you can donate. But you can also hang up our posters in your community, share your own story of being impacted by male on female violence, or volunteer at our annual walk/run or golf outing. If any of these peak your interest, or if you have other ideas, please get in touch.

As we enter into a new year and decade, most of us will self-reflect. What are your personal goals? How would you like to be remembered? I would love the opportunity to work with you, grow with you. In a world filled with hate, we can be a light that spreads love.

❤️
Laura Gruber, Board of Directors