Dear Friends and Allies,

Last night Barbie posted on my wall. Barbie is a childhood friend from the neighborhood, youngest of ten kids in her family, maybe the youngest drug and alcohol addicted runaway on the streets of Milwaukee in the Seventies, now a mission-driven Speaker and certified Advocate for victim/survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking. Barbie’s plea: share this post on your L>h page.

The post Barbie wanted me to share came from the City of Kenosha P. D. They were asking everyone everywhere to stop right now, look around, and see if you can help find this girl. They posted a photo of her. Her name was Jessica. She was 15 years old. Sweet smile. Innocent brown eyes. Last seen ten days earlier. Someone’s daughter.

Several thoughts and feelings ran through my head and heart. Where is she? Who is she with? What’s happening? Is she alive?

A quick tinge of fear. Then anger. Then the stirring of the familiar old pain I’ve known for five years, since we lost Jessie. And then the downward slide. Cynicism … resignation … doubt. All the hard work we’ve done since that fateful day. Has anything changed? Will anything ever change? Disengage. Pull away. Withdraw. Protect the heart.

Sound familiar? Isn’t life like this … a series of never-ending exposures to trouble, struggles, injustices, and hurt? And every time, the choice to withdraw or engage?

As Sirius Black told Harry Potter in The Order of the Phoenix, “it’s not our thoughts that define us Harry, it’s our choices.”

I don’t know about you, but I never wake up feeling like helping people like Jessica from Kenosha. I wake up feeling like rolling over and going back to sleep. I wake up feeling like “where’s my coffee?” and “I’m not ready for or interested in the world’s problems”. When I wake up, it’s all about how I’m feeling, and never about what choices will I make today, and will they be ones that make the world better for others.

I wonder how Dan woke up feeling on July 15th , 2013, the morning he killed Jessie.

But I’m learning from my coach to see every problem as a gift, and to let my actions be driven not by how I’m feeling but rather by my Calling, by who I say I am. This is a beautiful and powerful way to live. When I don’t feel like being “present” to all life gives me, especially the problems and the darkness, when I don’t feel like hurting and feeling anymore, when I don’t feel like engaging, I remember my Calling.

Everyone Knows Love. This is who I say I am.

And then I remember the Jessica’s of the world. Wherever she is right now, whoever she’s with, whatever is happening to her, maybe she doesn’t know Love. And my Calling calls to me, pulls me out of my feelings of doubt and pain and cynicism and thoughts like “haven’t I done enough?”. It re-connects me to my mission. And then the magic happens again … I find myself in action, in service, caring, on purpose, giving. The pain, the resignation, and the darkness have disappeared, replaced by hot Purpose. The switch has flipped, and suddenly “nothing matters” has changed to “everything and everyone matters!”

I never wake up feeling like forgiving Dan for killing Jessie and lying about it for five years. But then my Calling calls to me, I do it anyway, and everything is transformed. Even how I feel about Dan changes radically. I want to help him. My heart is strong and open again.

I bet you don’t wake up feeling like forgiving those who’ve hurt you either. I hope you flip the switch, so your heart stays strong and open too.

May all of us help each other find our Callings, find the Jessicas from Kenosha, and be transformed.

There, another “Letter from the E.D.”, dictated into cell phone on the woodland trails of Jessie’s favorite State Park, where inspiration flows most freely for me. May all of us find our inspiration today and turn darkness into Light.

From Jessie from Hartford, Jessica from Kenosha, and girls and women everywhere: thank you for helping.