Violence can strike in moments we never see coming.
I thought my life was perfect. I was loved, valued, and blessed. Then my phone buzzed with words no one is ever ready for: ‘There’s been a shooting at your bakery.’ My husband and two of our boys were there. In that instant, my world shattered. I saw him lying still behind the counter, and for a moment, I didn’t breathe.
Years earlier, I had survived an abusive marriage. But nothing prepared me for this horror. My 11-month-old was in the arms of the killer, my other boys were safe elsewhere—but nothing felt safe. I watched my children process trauma no child should face: my 7-year-old whispered ‘Daddy…night night’ repeatedly, my 2-year-old banged his head against the wall, unable to speak his grief.
The days after were just as hard. Trauma tried to define us. But I refused to let it. I taught my boys to face anger and fear without harming others. We smashed plates. We hit a punching bag. We breathed. We prayed. We forgave. Forgiveness didn’t erase the horror—it was our rebellion against it, our path to reclaiming our lives.
God met us in that bakery, transforming a place of blood and despair into a place of redemption. Our pain did not have the final word. We survived, and we are thriving.
Through L>h, I’ve found a community of courageous people who refuse to let hate have the last word. Together, we are raising the standard of healing and showing the world what love and forgiveness can do.
Every year, nearly 1 in 4 women in the United States experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner (CDC, 2022).
Jacalyn’s story is heartbreaking—but tragically common. Millions of families live through trauma like hers every year, and without support, their children may suffer for a lifetime. This is why LOVE>hate exists, to bring healing to trauma, to shine light into darkness, to help our Jacalyns heal, to prevent our children from watching their parents die.
